Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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