I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize