We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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