Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
