Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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