it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
