**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
