I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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