she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
