sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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