So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
