nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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