Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
