How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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