There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
do herpes really smell.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
