a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
