Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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