You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
