We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
