If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize