I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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