That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
