i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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