I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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