it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
