you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
