I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
