I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
