Whod you bang
where am i from again
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
