Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
