He uses pillows to masturbate.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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