I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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