best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
did you just send me my own nude
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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