quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
