pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize