week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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