butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
