The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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