normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
