"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
