If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
