everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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