All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
