Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
