I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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