I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
