my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
