Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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