She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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