3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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