lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
