why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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