So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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