fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize