This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
