that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
