if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
