I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
