I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
