We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I smell like Dick and happiness
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
