so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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