We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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